Being Prepared For An Unusual Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a time for family. This Thanksgiving, God warmed me up for something else, just in case there was no family time to be had by me. As uncomfortable as it was, I did what I was called to that day. Welcome to the next daily installment of this true story, which you can find posted here each afternoon until it comes to an end.
Chapter 70: Preparation
God had prepared me for the trip home, by telling me that I might not be with family at Thanksgiving. The entire trip might be a trip in which I supposed I was going to see my extended family, because I would be within miles of them, but in which God instructed me that He might have me do otherwise.
He prepared me for that. I didn’t know what it meant, but it was obvious to me that the reason for my travels was to minister to others. It may have looked like other trips home from the outside looking in, but there was no question in my mind that I was on a very different trip. I was on a mission trip. I had little doubt that it was, in fact, a mission trip ordained by God. Furthermore it was a trip that was changing the very way I saw myself and the very way I saw my relationship with God.
Some people go on mission trips to far-off lands. This was a trip a few miles away from my home to a train station. From the time I boarded the train, I was in the mission field that God directed me to minister in. Yes, I travelled thousands of miles during this journey, but the travel was the least significant part of this all. The train was what I needed to get to and the train was where this ministry was centered around. There was no destination for this trip. There was only a journey. And from the beginning to the end, that journey was one in which I was to spend every moment ministering.
By the time I had arrived in Illinois, where I grew up, I was not actually to my destination, but I was on a layover in between trains. I believe that was exactly how God wanted me to see my time in Chicago. Whether that layover would last 3 hours or 3 weeks, I did not entirely know. I knew only that unlike most trips, the destination was not the purpose of the journey. Additionally, unlike most holiday trips, as much as part of me may have wanted them to be the focus, family, too, was not the purpose of the journey.
Chapter 71: How I Spent Thanksgiving
In the next two days, the way I was hoping to spend my Thanksgiving changed. A friend I had known for a number of years had moved near Chicago and did not have plans for the Thanksgiving feast. I wanted him with my family. That was not able to happen. So, he and I had a Thanksgiving feast of our own. We went out for a meal in Chicago’s Chinatown together and had a good long conversation while we feasted on Chinese delicacies. There was not a chance that I would let him be alone that day. Not a chance. If my family was unable to make sense of that, it was fine, but I knew loudly and clearly who I was supposed to be with that day.
I enjoyed his company and would enjoy being with him, but there was more to it than that. The night before, in discussion with family, it became clear that I would either have to cancel on him or change our plans to something more along the lines of Chinatown. I decided on Chinatown. At right about that same time that very night, I later learned, he found himself in a less than desirable situation. He had fallen into old habits that night, and was flirting with a sinfulness that he had long ago repented for and turned away from.
I did not at the moment understand what else was happening, but I now understand at least part of what was happening. God was telling me that I was not going to leave his servant alone on Thanksgiving. Either, I could make sure he joined my extended family, or we could go out for a meal absent my extended family. Those were my two options. Cancelling with him was simply not an option. I did not want to cancel with him to begin with, but there was a little extra something there. Even if I wanted to cancel with him, God was going to tell me that option was not one that God desired.
God prepared me for a Thanksgiving of serving Him. It was an amazing Thanksgiving. And I also got to spend a little time with my extended family. But it is clear that I am supposed to learn to pay closer and closer attention to what God wants from me, no matter who comes in disagreement with it.
The choice of how that holiday would come together was up to me, but I was not to leave him alone. Perhaps I failed to communicate properly to family members. Perhaps I failed to understand properly. Perhaps I failed to stress the importance of this properly. Perhaps I have never, over years, attempted to encourage my elders in my family in a single way. Whatever my shortcoming, I failed miserably at getting another place set at the table. And getting that extra place set at the table was the only way that I could have myself spent that day with my family. When I failed to secure that invitation for him at my family’s table, I failed to be able to attend the family Thanksgiving celebration. That is not, of course, what I wanted, but there was simply no other option that I could understand possible. Though family is quite important to me, and this holiday was one that I was particularly looking forward to, this realization that I was not going to spend that day with my family was not too much for me to bear. That is because God had prepared me for this, telling me that this trip was about more than family, and that family might not even be able to play a role in it.
I can tell you every minute I spent with my family on that trip home was a blessing to me. Moment, by moment, I gleefully smiled as the layover between trains extended several days. I knew at any moment, God might send me out on a mission, that this time with family was in no way the goal. Nonetheless, God generously gave me that time to refresh my soul with family.
And why was this friend so important? Does not God want you to spend time with family rather than friends? I do not know that the Bible says such a thing. Is Thanksgiving not time for family? I do not know that the Bible says such a thing. I want to pull out of myself all the training of society and I want to retrain myself on the Bible. If it is not me putting God first, I want to do my best to kindly and generously prevent myself from entering in to the situation. Leaving that friend solo on Thanksgiving was a dealbreaker for me. Why? Because I believe it was a dealbreaker for God. I believe there was one person that God wanted me to fellowship with that day. Everyone else was an extra benefit for me. If I could make time with family work that was great, and if I could not, then I was not supposed to be torn apart over that. By the time I was even one day into my journey by train, that was clear to me — this trip was not to be about family.
On Easter Day 2020, in a moment ordained by God, that friend of mine came into my life, became a constant for much of the past few years, and was present at particularly notable moments in my walk with God. I have no question that God has a special love for this friend of mine and intends for me to always be mindful of that in my interactions with him. There are moments in life that stand out more than others, and I have no question that the Holy Spirit is blaring out loudly: pay attention to the moments that involve this friend of yours. There is something special there that you will not want to miss. I do not know entirely what that is, but from the little that I do already see, I know those moments are not to be missed.
Such moments cannot be done with cruelty for others or with bullheadedness. There is not need for arrogance. There is no need for behavior that claims to place you in a position of understanding and claims to place others in a position of ignorance. The Holy Spirit illustrates the different between obedience and ignorance. That is not your work to do. The certainty around God is not something that I know to behave that way. It does not needlessly provoke pain. Where we find our devotion to God has the effect of pushing others away from God, it is time to evaluate our motives.
It is the work of the Holy Spirit to help another understand God’s will in his life. It is not our job to do that. We need to be very careful with placing ourselves in that role. God may occasionally place us in that role. Far more likely, it is a sense of self-righteousness allowed to run out of control that leads us to criticize others for not being as good as we are. That self-righteousness is not of God. God is righteous. We, by his grace are saved from our lack of righteousness.
Usually, when you cause another person pain or when you criticize another person, that is not God leading you to do that. When in doubt, simply stop talking. Criticism, self-righteousness, arrogance, ego: these are seldom what God wants from us. He knows how to bring a point home far more effectively than any of us can. It is our job to just obey Him. The most impossible of situations are unraveled with the simplest of answers in the eyes of God, answers that would never have been arrived upon any other way.
-Allan Stevo
This is a selection from my forthcoming book, “The Amtrak Vignettes.” A neat story began with the writing of “The Amtrak Vignettes” in October 2023. Every day until that story comes to an end, I intend to share a part of it here. It is a part of my faith journey as a Christian, a faith journey that has been deepened since the Ides of March 2020. Some of it gets pretty wild and nothing that a “reasonable” person would find himself in the midst of. Few will be scared off by it. Instead, many will grow deeper in their faith. I know that, because I know my readers well, and I know that few come here expecting me to give a milquetoast version of anything. Come here to be challenged. Stay here to have your life changed. That, I believe, is what will come of this work. You can support that work by signing up below.