Welcome to the next daily installment of this true story, which you can find posted here each afternoon until it comes to an end.
Chapter 62: The Judas Spirit Rears Its Head
“You are the one who holds the worship service on the train aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
This was the point in the conversation in which God leads me to pray for a person or the person starts sharing about God, or some other kind of neat thing happens. There was silence for a moment. It didn’t feel like the silence before a big moment of prayer. It felt, kind of artificial in fact. She broke the silence prematurely:
“Let me offer you a piece of friendly advice.”
“Okay,” I responded, “I’d love to hear it.”
I had no idea where this was going, but I like friendly advice. I also understood that people who say things such as “a piece of friendly advice,” aren’t always as sincere as those words might suggest.
I studied her face for a moment for signs of sincerity and got ready for a punch in the gut.
“I heard people talking about you. They didn’t know why you are doing this. Are you doing this to make money? Are you luring them to the observation car in order to pressure them for an offering? You might want to take that piece of paper you were handing out and put the words ‘No offering will be taken.’ On the paper.”
A critical piece of me wanted to fire back. I am so happy I didn’t do that.
My first response to all criticism is to say “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” She said a few more words and I added, “Is there any other advice I should know about?”
Truthfully, I felt like taking a shower after talking to her. The past few days had felt so pure and wholesome to me. So many wonderful people had entered into my life and so much of this train trip had been centered around prayer and ministry. Most people get on a plane, a car, or any other form of transportation with the intent of getting from point A to point B, but that was certainly not what I was doing. I was not even sure at this point if was going to get to see my family on Thanksgiving. This trip was very much about ministering to others. No matter where I was, that was something God was showing me that I could be doing.
Almost nothing else was on my mind aside from “How can I be doing more of what God wants from me right now?” And then this woman comes up to me and tells me what might as well have been a dirty joke, it had so little to do with how I was walking through the day. That’s how quickly I wanted to get away from her: really quickly. The book of Proverbs advises a different approach though. And the book of Proverbs warns that I might be a fool if I do not take that different approach.
You see, it isn’t just the place of the wise man to listen to advice. It is the place of the wise man to surround himself with the wise, to obtain wise advice from them, and to make it clear to them that their precious time and their precious advice will be well used in his company.
So you don’t get triggered and run from someone who has a curt word for you or a critical word for you. Though the format of the advice may not be exactly what you would like, now is not the time to decide that. Now is the time to get that advice, to get as much of that as possible, to open the door for the future advice, and after a time, to digest it and to assess what it may be worth to you.
If I simply got offended, and stopped the advice from flowing, I would be playing the role of a fool. That’s not just me saying that. That’s the book of proverbs saying that. So, realizing that, it is my job to operate as wisely as I can.
At the same time, I felt such deep pity for her, the woman who said these words to me. I felt such deep pity for all the people she seemed to describe. I did not feel pity because they did not stand with me on the rocking train trying to sing hymns without music and in unpracticed voices. I did not feel pity because she did not come read the Bible with me. I did not feel pity because she did not come pray with me. All that could easily turn selfish and spiteful. I do not care how many people join me. I care to do God’s will and to do that among the people God places around me. I care to reach the people God wants me to reach on that train.
I felt pity because I know exactly what it is like to live a life in which I put my possessions before my relationship with God. In the past I might have thought such a thing. I might have said “Who is this guy and does he want to scam me out of my money somehow?”
Today, it would be quite different. Today, I would just ask God what He wants from me and I would just say yes to that thing God wanted. And, you know what that might be: that might be me praying with the stranger who invites me to pray. Or it might be me emptying out my wallet for that stranger. It might be me ignoring him and taking a nap, instead. I don’t know what that request from God will be, but I know to the best of my ability, I will say, “Yes!” to anything that I am led by the Holy Spirit to do.
That is the life I want to live. That is the life I try to live every day and every moment. How exciting, and intense, and excellent that life is, in which I try to devote myself and everything in my life to God as entirely as possible. I pity those who do not have it. And I know how easy it is to have. I, also, know how loudly the world screams lots of other things to distract you from having that.
Having the best parts of life takes these two things: 1.) knowing what those best parts of life are and 2.) being able to put enough focus into them to have them. I know the very best thing in life that can be had is an intimate relationship with God, one in which you put Him first in your life. Some people say that requires sacrifice. I am not certain that is true. Jesus even goes so far as to say “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 ESV). He is saying that if you seek first God’s kingdom, putting God’s will first, all kinds of other things will come your way.
-Allan Stevo
This is a selection from my forthcoming book, “The Amtrak Vignettes.” A neat story began with the writing of “The Amtrak Vignettes” in October 2023. Every day until that story comes to an end, I intend to share a part of it here. It is a part of my faith journey as a Christian, a faith journey that has been deepened since the Ides of March 2020. Some of it gets pretty wild and nothing that a “reasonable” person would find himself in the midst of. Few will be scared off by it. Instead, many will grow deeper in their faith. I know that, because I know my readers well, and I know that few come here expecting me to give a milquetoast version of anything. Come here to be challenged. Stay here to have your life changed. That, I believe, is what will come of this work. You can support that work by signing up below.
God be with you!...