Why You Should Exchange Phone Numbers With Likeminded People
Since the Ides of March 2020, a new requirement has entered into my life.
It was not long after that when I looked out at the sea of masks and realized that I was outnumbered, and that some of them wanted to line me up against a wall for not donning a mask.
The calculus of where we were in the trajectory of history started to look a lot different for me.
This thing I described is true in blue states and red states alike, big cities and small towns — there are people who wanted to line the unmasked up against a wall.
We can pretend that didn’t happen.
But that would be lying.
Below the surface of the polite talk that we have largely returned to in the public square are some people who would line you up against a wall if 1.) given the opportunity and 2.) if they could only see your thoughts.
For a brief time in history, as most of society was successfully masked, they could see your thoughts pretty clearly.
On top of that, they could see not just your thoughts, but could also see who was actually willing to live life in alignment with those thoughts and stated values.
We can ignore that detail, or we can embrace that detail.
To ignore it will make it of zero benefit to you. To embrace it means to recognize it is happening and to ask how that can be of benefit to you.
How can reality be a benefit to you?
So much of life comes down to that question.
Step 1: What is reality?
Step 2: How can that knowledge be of benefit?
One of the true gifts of 2020 for me was that it became so easy to see who was not either a psycho or an obedient order follower at the hands of psychos.
I could ignore or I could embrace. In that process, I further embraced a decade-old habit of mine: to never let a good person out of my sight without him first giving me his phone number.
Literally, his phone number. No other option will do. I say “How do I keep in touch with you?” as I pull out my phone and I take down his phone number and immediately text his with my name and phone number before leaving his presence.
I do not want to let likeminded people out of my sight without being able to communicate with them. Many hundreds of numbers in my phone will never be used to call anyone in all likelihood.
I’ve done this long enough to know that, and to not feel bad about that.
And at the same time, in the last few days, there was the water management expert that I called for a group of friends, the fluoride expert I texted for the same group of friends, the chiropractor that I called for another friend, and the retired congressman that I called for myself.
Things come up in life constantly and if you can think to yourself “I just met a person who might be able to help with that,” and you can call him, it is a very different outcome than if you say “I just met a person who might be able to help with that,” and you CAN’T call him.
Instead, you need to call someone else in order to ask for that other person’s phone number, perhaps waiting a week to hear back from that first person as he checks with the second person to see if it’s okay to give out their number and the other person doesn’t entirely remember you at that point, at least not the way the first person is describing you. And you know what, that’s really a best case scenario on how those “Can you send me that person’s number” conversations usually go.
Complexity is the enemy of execution.
Complexity is the enemy of execution could probably be a phrase that cannot be overstated.
It always needs to be kept in mind for anyone who wants to be more effective.
So we lower the barrier of complexity around execution as much as possible and increase our ability to be a blessing to others.
A very simple way is to simply exchange a phone number with the neat person you just met — especially if he is likeminded.
Why especially if he is likeminded?
Well, because — though we are in a moment of reprieve — I think this period we are going through all gets a lot uglier before it gets much better. That contact may one day mean a lot more than you realize.
I do not say that lightly.
I do not say that lightly.
I do not say that lightly.
It takes a moment of discomfort, but if you can be the person toward the end of the conversation with a neat person who can just say “How do I keep in touch with you?” as you start a new contact page in your phone, that really cuts through the discomfort so well.
And once you’ve done that, you change the possibility of that interaction from this: “Honey, I ran into such an interesting person today…” That is the extent of most likeminded interactions. It stops with a neat story.
You leave open the possibility, instead, of it turning into this:
“For the last 17 years, my friend Sam has been such a blessing in my life. We don’t see each other every day, or every month, or even every year, but there are times when we have been able to be there for each other that have just been amazing.”
True story.
The difference there is having a phone number, and perhaps even having a mind to use it.
Doing so and doing so with regularity makes you so much more effective in ways that you cannot even predict.
How important it is to be willing to take that first step.
Allan Stevo